🚏 1. Stand at the Bus Stop Like You Mean It
There are two types of bus stops:
- Request stops (you wave)
- Compulsory stops (they’ll stop anyway, unless you look invisible)
Rule: If in doubt, wave anyway. Do not just stare at the bus like it’s a wild animal. It won’t stop for vibes.
🪙 2. Cash? Card? Sacrifice?
Most places accept contactless cards or mobile pay.
Some rural buses still want coins. Ancient coins. From 1347.
Pro tip: Ask the driver, “Can I pay by card?”
If they grunt or nod, that’s a yes.
🪑 3. Sit Quietly and Pretend Nothing Exists
The social rules on UK buses are simple:
- Don’t talk to strangers.
- Don’t make eye contact.
- Don’t sit next to someone unless every other seat is full — including the weird sideways one with no legroom.
🔘 4. Press the Button, But Not Too Soon
There’s a button for every seat, and a polite ding will request your stop.
Do NOT:
- Press it 3 stops early
- Press it twice
- Panic and run to the front screaming
Just… press it. Once. Calmly.
🚪 5. Wait. For. The. Green. Light.
Doors don’t open unless that little green light above them comes on.
If it doesn’t? You’re either:
- Not at a stop
- Using the wrong door
- On a bus that hates you personally
🙃 6. You Will Get Judged
Locals know when you’re a tourist. The oversized map. The hesitation. The backpack assaulting 3 people.
It’s fine. Own it. Just don’t block the aisle.
🐢 7. Relax. It’ll Probably Be Late Anyway
British buses run on a mysterious schedule powered by traffic, vibes, and hope. If it shows up at all — you’re already winning.
Final Words:
You’ll survive. Maybe even enjoy it. And if not — there’s always walking. Or crying. Or both.
0 Comments